Episode 351

4 Big Signs That a Relationship Won’t Last and the Latest Science on Creating Love

With Drs. Julie and John Gottman

Building healthy relationships is a life skill that takes effort. Many of us learn about love from our parents or through watching glorified romance movies and TV shows, which creates a false idea of what it looks like to open up and share your life with someone. 

Whether you’re in the early stages of a new relationship or have been married for years, getting on the same page with your partner can be a challenge—especially if you’re not sure where to begin. 

Today on The Dhru Purohit Podcast, Dhru sits down with Drs. John and Julie Gottman to discuss the “Gottman Method.” Their award-winning evidence-based approach sets out to disarm conflict and increase intimacy, respect, and empathy for happy, lasting relationships. 

Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are cofounders of the Gottman Institute. 

Dr. John Gottman previously served as executive director of the Relationship Research Institute and is a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded the Love Lab. He is world-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction and has conducted forty years of groundbreaking research with thousands of couples. His work has earned him numerous major awards, and he was named one of the top ten most influential therapists of the past quarter century. He is the author of numerous bestselling books, including The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, What Makes Love LastEight Dates, and more. 

Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman is president of the Gottman Institute and cofounder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist, she was named Washington State Psychologist of the Year and received the 2021 Psychotherapy Networker Lifetime Achievement Award. She is the author and coauthor of many bestselling books, including Eight Dates, Ten Lessons to Transform Your MarriageThe Man’s Guide to Women, and And Baby Makes Three.

Drs. John and Julia Gottman have studied over 3,000 couples and through their research have found the secrets to successful partnerships. The Gottmans help give individuals the tools they need to listen and connect with their partner while providing a safe space for conversation and growth without criticism or contempt.

Also mentioned in this episode:

For more on Drs. John and Julie Gottman, follow them on Instagram @gottmaninstitute, Facebook @GottmanInstitute, Twitter GottmanInst, YouTube TheGottmanInstitute, and through their website, gottman.com. Get their book, The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy, here

For more on Dhru Purohit, follow him on Instagram @dhrupurohit, Facebook @dhruxpurohit, Twitter @dhrupurohit, YouTube @dhrupurohit, and TikTok @dhru.purohit. Text Dhru at 302-200-5643 or click here

Interested in joining Dhru’s Facebook community? Submit your request to join here.

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I hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did.
Wishing you health and happiness.
Dhru Purohit

In this Episode, you will learn

  1. The four horsemen of a relationship apocalypse
    (3:24)
  2. The foundational things that healthy, successful relationships have
    (12:22)
  3. How our past plays a role in how we relate to our partner
    (15:46 )
  4. The importance of turning toward your partner instead of away from them
    (20:22 )
  5. Bids of connection and how to turn toward your partner and become interdependent
    (30:05)
  6. The impact of Covid-19 on relationships
    (35:47)
  7. Practical tips for entering into a love prescription with your partner
    (41:34)
  8. How to address conflict in a relationship when things aren’t going well
    (54:29 )
  9. The 5-to-1 positive-to-negative rule
    (1:09:18)
  10. How to find a partner you can build a life with
    (1:11:09)
  11. Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s favorite questions to ask your partner
    (1:30:04)

Guest

 
Dhru Purohit

Dhru is the host of the Dhru Purohit Show, a top 30 health podcast with over 30 million downloads. His interviews focus on the inner workings of the brain and the body and feature the brightest minds in wellness, medicine, and mindset.

Dhru Purohit is also a serial entrepreneur and investor in the health and wellness industry.

 
Drs. Julie and John Gottman

Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are cofounders of the Gottman Institute. 

Dr. John Gottman previously served as executive director of the Relationship Research Institute and is a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded the Love Lab. He is world-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction and has conducted forty years of groundbreaking research with thousands of couples. His work has earned him numerous major awards, and he was named one of the top ten most influential therapists of the past quarter century. He is the author of numerous bestselling books, including The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, What Makes Love LastEight Dates, and more. 

Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman is president of the Gottman Institute and cofounder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist, she was named Washington State Psychologist of the Year and received the 2021 Psychotherapy Networker Lifetime Achievement Award. She is the author and coauthor of many bestselling books, including Eight Dates, Ten Lessons to Transform Your MarriageThe Man’s Guide to Women, and And Baby Makes Three.

Drs. John and Julia Gottman have studied over 3,000 couples and through their research have found the secrets to successful partnerships. The Gottmans help give individuals the tools they need to listen and connect with their partner while providing a safe space for conversation and growth without criticism or contempt.

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